I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
