So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
