I want to have your abortion
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
