I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
