White coat. Heels.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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