Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
