True but thats because hes a fetus.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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