as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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