yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
