my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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