Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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