I can tuck mytits in my pants
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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