At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
