I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
