just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
