well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
