i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Randomize
