Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
