Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Please, let me fuck your mom
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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