He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
