But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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