I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
