whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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