mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
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