can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
