So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
