I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
