why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
honey bunches of taint.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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