She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
