hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We need to get me chipped asap
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Drunk is a universal language darling
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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