Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
