I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
