"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
