Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
