yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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