We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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