anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
