I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
