Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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