Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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