Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
