so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
