My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
