Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
