I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
