My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
