He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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