she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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