There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
