I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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