I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
As shirtless as possible
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Two words: blizzard sex
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
